Few millenniums, gazillion words and million miles of a camera reel later we still ask the same question: “what is love?”
We humans are a seriously clueless race.
In our defense, love maneuvers itself in mysterious ways. Moreover in an earnest quest to become the dumbest prey on the planet, many of us sweat their hearts out to find love. It is only once they find it; they realize what a soul-crushing havoc it is. This whole exercise is similar to sailing a flimsy wooden boat in a mighty storm.
When you drop your defenses so heroically, you are inviting your peril just as idiotically.
Guarding yourself against love is a futile endeavor anyway. Love is more potent than any disease known to the man. Love is mightier than an ocean storm. Even when you are fully protected and armored, you are still going get smitten by a deadly blow, and then be sent packing to the dungeon of forlornness.
The only saving grace is that at least you knew you were fighting for a hopelessly lost cause.
Love is indeed a devil; however a surprisingly kind one. Although we cannot possibly tinker with the fatal fate of our confrontations, it generally allows us to determine the elegance of our fall.
1. A temporary insanity
Ambrose Bierce in his illuminating book on the human condition – “The Devil’s Dictionary”- deems love to be “a temporary insanity”, and he is awfully accurate on that one.
Love is that phase in a person’s life, when his or her perception of the world is gravely damaged and prejudiced by the feelings for certain someone. Faculties of Reason and common sense limp around on the shoulders of blind faith, which then duly dumps them at the dead end of a dark alley. Mistakes of the loved one then don’t seem, well, like a mistake. Crazy eyes, which should ideally send shivers down to your spine, those bitches, they look cute and dovey. You yourself go bonkers on every single level of your existence, but still think of yourself as the gentlest patient in the ward.
But this insanity is necessary (as long as you are not abusing the loved one, or kidnapping them and then keeping them tied to a cot in a basement).
This world is not supposed to be gray-scale and proportionately logical. It needs colors. It needs madness. It requires chaos. Love is a fine frenzy that brings it all. When in love, we shed inhibitions. We do stupid things. We sing ballads in hoarse voices and give spiders a nightmare. We write travesties of poems that chimps would scoff at. We make such faces that sick little puppies queue up to give us a hug.
It is in that phase of insanity that …
2. You lose yourself. You discover yourself
The primary goal of love is to empty our coffers.
In love, you give that stupid person what is yours, and you get it back seriously deformed or reformed. You give up some habits. You replace something that you were once proud of. You change the way you dress, you talk and even the way you are. Hell, the mono dimensional goggles of love change your entire perspective at times. This silly love, it reboots us profoundly.
Then there is that business of owning up to your love. As long as you are not a serial lover, saying “I love you” to a person for the first time, when you actually mean it, is a frightening task. It takes one soul that is ready to bare itself. It also needs one really strong pair of balls that is prepared to get crushed. It is on this threshold many legs wobble. It is on this edge many gutless wrenches find it within themselves to take a leap of faith.
Love either magnifies your real virtues or a severe lack of them. Once hit by this mushy hammer, some decent folks lose their dignity, and a few morons discover some. Many jerks lose their dicknity, whereas many nice ones acquire some. The clever ones however remain the same. They simply change the surface.
Don’t be mistaken though. The process of rediscovering yourself in love is simply amazing. Unknowingly, unwittingly you cross a small bridge between what you thought you were and what you actually are. This sort of resurrection is worth all the pain that one goes through.
3. The mad chase
Love is a perennial Bakkushan. It swivels its booty to hypnotize us. Once it does, we know in our heart we have to follow the lusty demon at any cost.
It’s a different story altogether that it could perhaps even be a four eyed monstrosity in reality. We just bet our pulse on the possibility that it would turn out to be just as sensational as it looks from behind.
Chasing love might be the most thrilling aspect of being in love. This chase makes us do awesome things. We cheat, we lie, and we manipulate situations just to get closer to the loved one. We do some extravagantly nice things and commit some gracious good deeds. We try every single trick that we can play to reach there.
Like a rat in the drainage we frenetically try to find our way in love. We keep swimming as we keep sinking. We take awkward turns. We climb vertical curves. In that suffocating tunnel, we breathe hope. And then someday, we find ourselves in the cupid’s commode, floating gloriously, looking at the shiny pink world in relief.
That moment is a temporary salvation. It is a momentary bliss. It does not last a lifetime, but is certainly worth one.
4. That moment when you get it
The prevailing paradigm of cynicism vehemently denies the notion that there is someone for everyone. The historical evidence however shows otherwise. Even for Blanche Dumas, the woman with three legs and two vaginas, there was one Juan Baptista dos Santos, the man with three legs and two penises.
The thing is, in the turbulent sea of humanity that surrounds us; at least some vessels carry the DNA of our lost treasures. The problem is that they are very hard to find. In some cases they are in a different sea altogether, or in worse cases, they have sunk eons ago in a bottomless trench.
Some of us find it without much trying. Some of us find it after scraping through a lot of failures and mishaps. A brave soul occasionally rises, and buys a life-like mannequin on the internet, or rides a horse in desolation plains.
To write on what it feels like to get your love is very much fictional on my part. My mannequin doesn’t talk, so I can’t possibly fathom the human aspect of this tragedy.
But it must be nice to have someone in your corner. It would be good to have someone, who listens to your bullshit and then offers you some in return. It would be pretty warm to have someone, who would cuddle with you and make you melt. Nauseating nuisance, in a nutshell.
The bottom line is that we all eventually find love. The two of us lose our way. Miraculously we bump into each other and go holy shit.
Our tryst may not last a lifetime, but it is certainly worth one.
5. The first sight
Love at first sight is almost mythical, and it has been irredeemably maligned by movies and the literature. However as absurd as the concept is, it is not an urban legend. It exists. It seriously does.
There is something inherently primal about the love at first sight. It is very much unlikely that when a hippopotamus gazes across the swamp and spots the two glistening eyes of a female hippo (hippie?), he thinks of compatibility issues. He instantly knows he needs to bone her, and unlike ,any humans he usually accomplishes his objective.
It is difficult to define what one feels at that moment. It is hard to figure out what triggers the feeling. For a plenty men, and some women, it only takes a good pair of boobs. But eventually, after a hectic pursuit, most of them realize that the person attached to those glorious bastards is even better. And, cue the drum roll, they fall in love.
And such an hour of awakening is one of the most amazing phases in human life. It is a mesmerizing spell of time, when plastic roses begin to smell like cocaine. No other sensation can ever be more ethereal than realizing that you are in love. It is a pervading sweet epiphany that shakes the every last realm of your being.
6. Love is Human Nature
Disclaimer: This entry is based on the lack of evidence of love in other species. It is partially due to my ignorance and partially due to the collective arrogance of humanity.
We humans are a seriously clueless race.
Our race has flourished on this planet for millennia, and we have conquered our world to a great extent. And yet we have a little clue about what is it to be a human, about what is it that defines us and governs us.
Empirical evidence shows that we are hopelessly complicated. At our worst, we are Lucifer incarnate. We shed blood. We draw boundaries. We constantly fuck up, and create a mess out of nothing. We behave pettily; we keep bickering like two cranky old ladies. But then someone does something so cute that the rest of humanity tweets “#AWW”. At our best, we make an ailing child smile. We help out each other, and offer a hand of solace for someone in need.
Love is an equally complex shit. At least a few billion specimens of humanity must have succumbed to love so far. And yet we have a little clue about what is love, about what is it that defines love and governs it. So far as humans have experienced, from its sinister side to the caring one love represents everything that the humanity can become.
At its worst love shatters a healthy soul. It stares into our eyes, and mocks us deviously. Love could easily transform a shy person into a Jack the Ripper. At its best, it comforts a crumbling spirit. It taps on the shoulders when we least expect it, and embraces us with apricity.
Love is hopelessly complicated.
Hopelessly complicated is the human nature.
It is a goddamned hypothetical syllogism..
Love is human nature.